Thursday, December 12, 2013

Finish the Sentence... Christmas Edition!


I haven't linked up in a while, so I thought, "what the heck"!

1. My favorite Christmas was....I love them all because I am always surrounded by family, food and wine.  That right there is a trifecta of Christmas love!  But one that stands out is the time we all hung out in my little sister's basement, drinking WAY too much.  The videos of that night remain in the "vault" ;-)
2. The worst Christmas I had...I can't really think of one that was the "worst".  If I have to pick one, it would be last year, only because it was the first Christmas EVER, that I was not with my parents.  The day was still a wonderful one with my older sis and the rest of the family, but something was definitely missing....
3. That one gift that made me scratch my head and say, "Hmmmm" was...every damn year, when I was growing up, my Grandma Mayme gave me granny panties.  You know the ones, they are HUGE and only an 80 year old woman would wear.  Oh and after I opened them, she would ask me if I had started my period yet.  God love her!!
4. One year I....I woke up super early and ran out to the tree to see what Santa left me.  Only to find a Charlie McCarthy dummy (for my sister) under there, that freaked me the hell out!!  I ran back to my room and didn't move a muscle until I was told to.  I seriously thought we had some little man under the tree that was real.  I still get freaked out thinking about him just staring at me....
5. I think the worst gift to give is....a bad attitude.  I cannot stand Scrooge like attitudes.  Life is too short for that crap.  Tell people Merry Christmas with a smile on your face and get that cob out of your ass!
6. At Christmastime I typically....spend WAY too much money.  I start with a budget and then....the emails come re: sales and that budget goes out the window.  I can't help it, I love to give presents!
7. Typically, family amazing!  We wake up, open presents and then eat the most amazing cinnamon rolls known to man, that my mama makes.  Then we all head home to "clean up" and go back for lunch and lots of wine.  Lots and lots of laughing takes place and usually a game or two of Scene It and Rock Band.
8. If I could change one thing about the Holiday season....I would make it only about being with the ones you love.  Even though I love to give gifts, it has gotten out of control.  I would much rather forgo the gifts and watch the waves crash in on some beach.  Or...have breakfast with Mickey, at Disney World!
9. It is so hard to buy kids.  They NEED NOTHING!!  And we have no room for more items that they don't need.  This year we went with a bigger ticket item and a few small things.  I can't handle having it look like Toys R Us puked in my living room, for another year. And don't get me started on what my basement looks like.  More Toys R Us puke!
10. My favorite Christmas tradition is...Having breakfast with my whole family in our pj's listening to Christmas music and eating mom's cinnamon rolls. 
11. Santa, baby, bring me a ....breast lift!  Yep, you read that right! Those girls are living in the south and I am stuck here in the north. It's time they reconnect! :o)

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Giving up is NOT an option

Today I posted a pic on Instagram that was from my first (remember there are 3) wedding.  When I came across this pic, it brought back so many emotions.  I cannot believe how far I have come in 23 years.  I married one of the most evil men, I have ever come across.  My dad describes him best, "honey he cannot even be called an asshole, because an asshole has a function. Yep, he was THAT awful. He was not only verbally abusive, he was physically abusive as well.  I even have a lovely scar on my arm to remind me of that time.  I remember sitting at the end of the couch and he kicked me as hard as he could, with his boot.  I should have had stitches, but I hid it from my family.  I remember the night before the wedding, my sister begged me not to go through with it.  She knew I was making the worst mistake of my life.  In fact, marrying him, put such a strain on my relationship with my sister, we didn't speak for over 2 years.  I let this man, take away every ounce of pride I had.  Thankfully, I got it all back and then some.  We were married about 6 months and living with my parents, when he just took off.  Then one day, the doorbell rings and I am being served with divorce papers.  My mom called my sister and she ran over, crying and hugged me.  Partly because she saw me hurting so badly, but also because she had her sister back.  From that moment on, I never looked back.  I might have wavered a bit and wished he would come back to me.  BUT....after lots of long talks with the man above, I got the strength to move on.  I started back at college, lost weight, got healthy inside and out.  I was also lucky enough to get reacquainted with everyone I cut out of my life.  Not because I wanted to, but pretty much because I had to.  This monster didn't WANT me, but he sure as shit didn't want anyone else to have me. know the evil that was taking place behind closed doors.  I will never forget being in Florida with my family and confessing to my mom, that one time, my ex took me out to the country and left me.  Yep, he kicked me out of the car.  He let me wonder around for almost 2 hours, before he came back to get me.  She was so sad.  Not only because I went through that, but also because I was so ashamed to tell her or anyone, back then.

I look back and wonder why I allowed myself to be treated like this.  Part of me thinks it stems from being made fun of so much, I just figured this was the best I could get.  BUT....NO ONE, deserves that.  WE ALL DESERVE love and respect.  We all deserve to be surrounded by people that will lift us up, not tear us down. 

I am so thankful that I was able to pick myself up off the ground and get to where I am today.  I am a better person for it.  I am a fighter.  Giving up on your dreams should not be an option.  Had I given up on my dream of one day being fit and healthy, where would I be?????  AND...I never let the doubters, get too far inside me head.  I won't lie, they were there and they tempted me to just give up.  But I won in the end.  I had my family and my faith, to get me through it all. 

So when you are having a bad day or week or even a bad year, remember, hard work and determination will pay off.  It won't happen over night and it might take 20 years, but it will be so worth it.  I can honestly say I love me.  I love my life.  It's truly a simple life.  We don't have a lot of money, or drive fancy cars, but we are  happy.  We made our small house, a home.  We do the best with what we have.  And we try so very hard to enjoy each day to the fullest.  And that might be spending the entire weekend in our jammies.  :)

My grandma always said this one thing that has been so true, my whole life.  "Lori Ann, it's always darkest before the dawn".  Now that sweet angel is watching over me and making sure, I never forget it.  So remember, just when you think it can't get any worse, it might, but....IT WILL GET BETTER, BETTER THAN YOU EVER THOUGHT POSSIBLE!

Monday, December 9, 2013

December challenge, to myself!

As we all know, this is the time of year that pants tend to get a bit tight!  You know from all that yummy holiday food.  SO....I have decided that I would like to lose some lbs, while the rest of the world is!  I am back at logging ALL of my calories, on MFP.  I am also back to doing Ripped in 30, combined with JM kickboxing.  Here is my schedule for that.

Day 1, Ripped in 30 (week one).
Day 2, JM Kickboxing (workout one)
Day 3, Ripped in 30 (week one)
Day 4, JM Kickboxing (workout 2)
Day 5, Ripped in 30 (week one)
Day 6, JM Kickboxing (workout 3)
Day 7, REST DAY!

 I will be doing this, until the 29th.  On the 30th, I plan to start P90X3, with my hubby.  I cannot tell you how excited I am about starting this.  Yes, I did say excited.  I love the p90x workouts.  Well I love the exercises, just not how time consuming they were.  Committing to an hour a day, for this working mommy, who likes sleep, was just too much.  SO....when I heard that X3 workouts are only 30 minutes, I was thrilled!!  I immediately called Ray and asked if he would do it with me.  I am so glad he said yes.  He has been struggling with his weight and so desperately wants to get back to eating healthy and working out.  I figure we can keep each other accountable and motivated at the same time!  Plus we have a beach wedding to attend in February, that we both want to look good for.  I figure we will have a good six weeks, of X3, to get us in better shape.  We did p90x together and stuck with it, till the end.  I saw major changes in Ray!  I was so proud of him!!  And that was one hour workouts, 6 days a week.  We also have a dvd player in our master now, which is big enough to workout in, so that too, will help us stick to it!  I will take a before and after and share our results.  I don't think I will weigh myself.  I will go by my progress pics and how my clothes fit.  No way am I going to be a slave to that evil thing, we call the scale.  I refer call it SATAN!

I am glad I have IG and a blog to share this with.  It will keep me in check!  I also have my lovely friend Terri to keep me in line, with my calorie logging, on MFP!  I am telling you, it helps to go through this with others.  We can support and motivate!! 

Here are a few pics from our weekend!  I love this time of year when it is cold and you get to stay home and snuggle with the ones you love!  My mom and dad get here in a few hours too!  I AM SO EXCITED!!!  I even have wine waiting for my dad and chocolate for my mama! :)

Nothing like cinnamon rolls that mommy made and a Christmas movie. :)

Finally got all the lights on the outside.  I love how my house feels so cozy now.

Me holding up Liv as she skates with the hockey players.  Drew is about to fall, in the background.  They are definitely my

They had SUCH a great time and their friend's b-day party.  They can't wait to go back and skate again.

So we bought Ray a new flannel and some pj pants.  He proceeds to wear them together.  Umm....yep, he does not have the fashion sense the rest of us have!  Oh and Drew is in size 6 jammies, just a tad snug and short!  But they were happy, that is all that matters.

Happy Monday!!


Friday, December 6, 2013

You're gonna miss this...

This time of year, I get pretty sappy.  Maybe it's because I am approaching the nursing home years....I KID!  Or...maybe I am just sentimental.  Last year was the first Christmas EVER, in my life, that I did not spend it, at my parents house.  See they moved away to the sunshine state and left me!  AS IF!  I won't lie, it broke my heart.  All those years of sweet traditions were gone.  It was time to move ahead and make new ones.  Even when I lived in NYC, I ALWAYS came home.  No matter what, I opened my Santa presents at my parents house.  This year, they will be here, for Christmas.  And...I feel SO blessed.  I am so lucky to have parents that have bee married for 44 years.  Parents that raised me to be humble.  To be thankful for everything, good and bad.  They taught me that in life, you must go through some bad stuff, to get to the really good stuff.  Boy were they right.  Too many times in life, we get down on the world.  We get sad, pissed off, hateful, ungrateful and so on....  What I have learned over the years is this, STOP WITH THE NEGATIVE!  I cannot tell you how many times I have seen this very negativity on FB, just this week alone.  People making fun of others, taking stuff to heart, when it was meant to tease, calling out others on crap, that is none of their business.   Life is too short, to waste even an ounce of energy on the negative.  Just last night I had a VERY long talk with my kiddos about this very thing.  We talked about how SO many children are without parents, without siblings, without a stable roof over their head or food.  I think we forget all of the luxuries we have right in front of us.  We need to stop reading into things so much as well.  If you see something that ticks you off, that someone has said, let it go.  Save that energy for focusing on the good.  I want to raise kids that see the good in EVERY situation.  That is how I was raised.  Don't get me wrong, I STILL bitched and moaned and felt sorry for myself on MANY occasions.  BUT....I allowed myself to be open to the good I knew would eventually come.  Three people that I follow on IG, lost a loved one this week.  One was very young.  It puts so much in perspective for me.  I MUST enjoy life and all that it has to offer.  I need to smile more, laugh more and tell people I love them, even more. 

On my back to work, I heard "You're Gonna Miss This" by Trace Adkins on the radio.  AND...I don't even listen to country music.  I just happened to stop at that channel.  This song hit home.  This morning, Liv was mouthy and wouldn't get dressed, so of course I got frustrated.  But you know what, someday soon, I will wish I had that time back.  Over Thanksgiving we watched videos of when the kids were little.  Talk about being emotional.  I cried like a baby.  I am sure at the time the videos were taken, I was sleep deprived and a big ole bitch.  BUT...I would give anything to go back and hug my sweet little babies, at that age.

We all need to quit wishing time away and live in the moment.  I am so guilty of this.  So when the kids won't clean their rooms and the hubby won't turn the channel to Bravo, it's OK, just breath and live in that very moment. 

Because remember....

"It's hard to believe
But you're gonna' miss this
You're gonna' want this back
You're gonna' wish these days
Hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna' miss this
You're gonna' miss this
Yeaahhhh... you're gonna' miss this"