Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Tabata...it will make your a$% hurt for days!!!

Good morning!! I have been asked a few times, about what different workouts I do.  One of my favs, for truly amazing results, is tabata.  I actually stumbled upon tabata, when I saw one of the former Biggest Loser contestants post about it.  I thought hmm...4 minutes, I can do that!  Here is a bit of background on tabata:

There are many different forms of workouts out there and each workout will give you a different result. Some increase muscle mass, some increase strength, others help you lose weight and so forth.
Cardiovascular (cardio for short) exercises are a popular brand of exercise designed to improve endurance and stimulate fat loss. Cardio exercises can be anything from long distance running, skipping, biking or even power walking. All of these usually fall under the category of moderate intensity training because they tend to last anywhere from a half hour to more than an hour going at the same pace.
“Tabata” is the name of a particular type of workout program that provides similar health benefits to that of cardio workouts, but Tabata has a bit more spice. Instead of hours upon hours or exercise, Tabata can be completed in 4 minutes.

If you do the standard 4 minute tabata, it goes like this: 8 intervals of 20 second high intensity workout followed by 10 seconds of rest.  I just don't feel like I have worked out, if I just do 4 minutes.  So I was thrilled when I found the 19 minute workout.

I am not gonna lie, it will be the LONGEST 20 seconds of your life, when doing the actual move.  It will also be the shortest 10 seconds you have ever encountered...lol!  But the results speak for themselves! You will also continue to burn up to 250 extra calories, in the next 24 hours, after completing the workout.  Hello, how can you pass that up!!!!!!  FREE FAT BURN!!

The workout I do is Jill Coleman's from Xfinity On Demand.  It is 19 minutes.  I know a lot of people don't have access to this, so I thought I would give you the detailed workout that I do.
You start with about a 2 minute warm up, consisting of jumping jacks, push ups, side lunges and other things, to loosen up the muscles.  Then the workout begins.  Remember when dong this workout, you MUST go balls to the wall!  If you can carry on a conversation, you are not doing it properly.  This is a high intensity workout.  You MUST give every 20 seconds your all!  You will be one hot sweaty mess when you are done.  And be prepared to feel like you just might be dying, the first few times you try it! :o)

Do each move for 20 seconds and then rest for 10 seconds, repeat four times.  After you do said move four times, you move on to the next and so on...
High knees
Mountain Climbers
Squat jumps
Alternating lunge jumps
Speed bag
Burpees (oh yes, the spawn of the devil ,burpees, are in this workout) :)
After you are finished, give yourself about a 1 1/2- 2 minute cool down. 

I did this workout on Saturday, after not doing it for about a week.  OMG I am still so sore!!  If you want a workout you are going to feel in your bum and legs...this is it!  Talk about having a hard time getting on and off the potty!  YIKES!  SO SORE!!  But it is that good kind of sore.  This workout is so good for those of us that never have time to workout.  I think we can all come up with 20 free minutes, a few times a week.  I really think that once you try this a few times, you will see what I mean, about the effectiveness! 

Hope you are all having a good Tuesday!  It is FINALLY nice here!  I just might go for a run at lunch.  MIGHT, I said, MIGHT!!! :o)  If not, tabata and 30-day shred on are tap, for the day!


Thursday, April 25, 2013

Celebrate Your True Beauty - Join Our Link Up!
Hey Beauty Queens! 
Today is the day that all negative thoughts of ourselves ends and we focus on what we think is OUR TRUE BEAUTY! 
I feel this is very appropriate for today's post!  I mean yesterday was all about what I DON'T like so here we go!  Three things that I DO like, about me!
1.  My eyes.  I have very light blue eyes and never really knew that they were actually "pretty" until I lost weight.  I just never wanted to really look at my face.  Now I can actually appreciate the beauty in them.  I think this came when I had kids.  I saw in them, parts of me.  Parts I really like. Especially when I look at my son's sweet little face...he has my eyes. :)
2.  My height.  I love being tall.  Maybe it's because I can weigh more than someone that is 5'3!  Plus I guess it is easier to wear certain items of clothing, when you are tall.  EXCEPT for dresses!  OMG!  I see all these cute H&O dresses, that I want, but can't wear.  I need a dress that is AT LEAST 35 inches.  That my friends, is hard to find.  But I never have trouble finding designer jeans to fit my length.  They all seem to come in a 34 or 36. :)  This is also something I see in my beautiful Olivia.  She is going to be tall and I always tell her how awesome being tall is!  We get to help short little men in the grocery store reach stuff, on the top shelf!
3. My hands.  I have very long fingers that are super thin!  Ummm...hello, they had me thin!  I have my Grandma Mayme's hands.  In fact, I have a lot of her amazing traits.  She was the most amazing piano player.  So those long lanky fingers came in handy.  If only I would have stuck with my piano lessons!  I wear a size 4 1/2 wedding band.  Yep, they are tiny.  About the ONLY thing on me, you can call tiny!  But...I'll take it!
Ok this post wasn't as hard as I thought.  I think that with age, comes acceptance.  So for me, being 41 has helped me realize, that I am not so bad!  I won't lie, when I look in the mirror, I am still not 100% satisfied with what I see.  BUT...that being said, I am also at a place in my life, that I can  truly appreciate what beautiful traits I do have!  And like I said, seeing "me", in my babies, makes me happy. 

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Top Ten Things That Suck...About Losing Weight.

OK some might be saying, "did she really just say that".  Why yes, yes, I did!  Here are the top ten things that piss me off about losing weight.

1.  I have had to spend a shit ton of money on new jeans.  And not just recently.  First I must tell you that I have a slight addiction to designer jeans.  NOT because I think they are cool.  NOT. AT. ALL.  They are actually jeans that "fit" me and my figure.  I have tried so many times to fit into jeans at Old Navy or Gap or even Macy's.  UGH....they just don't fit!!  My first pair of True Religion Jeans were a size 31, I now wear a 27....yep, you do the math.  That is A LOT of money wasted!  Why didn't I just wait?????  I have had to do that with about 4 different brands...

2.  I have had to spend way too much money on over the shoulder boulder holders!  I used to be a 38DDD.   Damn girl, that is a lot of D's!  And the worst part, they aren't even "cute" or "sexy".  They are matronly minimizer bras.  My loose skinned 34 D's just don't hold up in designs by Vicky and her Secrets!

3.  UNDERWEAR!!!!  OMG I never imagined I would have to buy new thongs.  Oh yes, I am a thong wearer.  Wore them even when I was pregnant.  And yes, my labor and delivery nurse/mother lectured me on this! OK can I just be frank with all of you????  Yes.....Thanks!  When your thong is too big, you get what I call, the "lip slip".  Yep, I went there.  TMI!  Nothing like having an ill fitting thong on and have all your lady bits start to come out!  YIKES!  Target her we come!!!  I have had enough of that slip, thank you very much!

4.  This past year, I have had to buy ALL new bikini bottoms.  Ticks me off because I buy separates.  So now I have about 30 bikini tops with no bottoms. (yeah I have a problem, I know).  And...they will never have matches.  Too hard to find ones to match exactly.  The tops I can make work, because they are string.  But the bottoms make it look like I took a poo in my bikini.  And....the whole baggy crotch thing, strikes again!

5. Loose skin.  Yeah, that is pretty much a given.  It could be way worse.  BUT...I still don't like it.  The inner thighs are the worst.  Just absolutely no way to tone that up.  I have done all the toning I can.  AND...I refuse to have skin removal surgery because that would mean a huge scar up both legs.  Just not worth it.

6.  I really hate that people say, "you have lost a lot of weight recently, are you trying or are you sick".  Ummm....I am just trying to be healthy and fit.  Just the other day one of my bosses said, "now don't go get all anorexic on us".  REALLY?!?!?!  Did you just say that in a lobby full of people!?

7.  Even though I have lost weight and am the thinnest I ever thought imaginable, I still see the old me, in the mirror, on most days.  I will even scroll down IG and see a pic and not even realize it is me.  I don't know why this is.  But believe me, if I could change it, I would!

8.  SOME people have assumed that I now think I am too cool for school, because I have lost weight.  NOPE, not at all!  If anything all it has made me is much more compassionate and gives me such a strong desire to help others, get to where I have.  I love meeting people and helping them in anyway I can.  I know how unbelievably hard it can be, to be on this journey.  It is so nice to be friends with SO many amazing people who have been in my shoes.  It's a special bond we will always share.

9.  One thing I just can't get used to....attention from men.  UGH...I just don't like it.  It seriously creeps me out.  I am not sure if it stems from all the negative attention, I used to get, or not.  But when a man hits on me, I cringe.  I want to crawl in a hole and die! 

10. Now this one is a beaut!  When I am working out, I can hear my loose skin flap in the wind, as I am doing certain moves.  OMG I F*CKING HATE IT!  Nothing like doing jumping jacks, and you hear your inner thighs, doing their own version.  Or when I am doing certain boxing moves, my arms do their own! It has pissed me off enough, that at times, I will stop my DVD and go put on pants, tight ones, to hold that shit in.  Maybe this is why I still refuse to step foot in a gym.  And the weird thing is, no one is even there with me, to hear it.  So why do I care, not sure.  But it gets on my nerves so bad.  Like I seriously get pissed off at my skin.  I won't lie, I have told it to F off.  Yep, I carry on full, one sided conversations with my own skin. 

Thank you for letting me get that off my chest.  Yes, the benefits of losing weight are SO much more, than the negatives.  But I just wanted to be real with you all.  I may be at my ideal weight and in the best shape of my life, but it doesn't mean I am 100% happy, all the time. :)  I try, just sometimes, we gotta bitch!


Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Being overweight doesn't mean you aren't happy...


I have thought a lot about being overweight and if it is what made me unhappy.  And you know what, "it" isn't the reason I was unhappy.  What made me unhappy was the fact that I THOUGHT.... being overweight was the end of the world.  I thought it defined me as a person.  BUT...it didn't.  When I was overweight, I was still funny, still outgoing and one of the popular kids.  I still dressed really well.  I was a great sister, friend and daughter.  I even played a sport.  Mind you, I sucked at it, but I had the whole social part of it, down pat!  I went to a very small high school, but I was one of the "cool" kids.  I cringe now, when I say that.  But I was.  I tried to make the best of what I had.  And that was my outgoing personality.  Yes, inside I was unhappy and wished SO much that I was "skinny".  What I should have focused on was being "fit".  I really don't like the word skinny.
I prefer fit or even thin.  Because you can be "skinny" and be one unhealthy person.  This brings me to one of the most amazing women I know, my friend Diana.

Diana is overweight and I know she wishes she could be "thin" but she is truly the most amazing woman I know. She is so carefree and fun.  She is also beyond generous.  She would give you the shirt off her back, if you needed it.  And she would do this, if it were her last shirt.  She is just that person you meet and feel all warm and fuzzy inside, after doing so.  She lets NO ONE get in her way.  She is out to have fun and live life to the fullest.  She has never said, "no, I can't do that".  Where as I would have been the one saying, "no I can't go, I am not feeling well".  Which meant I was too embarrassed to do something, because of my weight.  Not Di! She is freaking awesome!  When we have GNO by my sister's pool, Di is the first one to get in.  And let me tell you, we have all seen Di's boobs...lol!  Like I said, she doesn't let her weight define her.  SHE IS TRULY HAPPY!


I wish people would not assume just because someone weighs more than what society thinks they should, that they are automatically miserable.  SO NOT TRUE!  I know Di weighs 300+ pounds but has the spirit and "got get them" attitude of a super skinny 16 year old.  She is married to her high school sweetheart and no, he is not a big man.  He fell 100% in love with Diana, inside and out.  If only more people were like this.  He is such a lucky man.  He got himself one hell of a catch.

I know when Di has been out at restaurants or other public places, people have stared and even snickered.  OMG I want to smack these morons.  It gets me so upset.  They are totally judging her solely based on how she looks.  WTF!?!?!?!  Isn't this 2013????  Why are we still so prejudice when it comes to obesity.  If these asshole would take 5 minutes to get to know her, they would love her.  AND....so many other people out there that might be overweight.  This shit has to stop.  When did people decide that overweight = unhappy.  Ummm....hello, when I was thin back in NYC I was miserable and bulimic.  So that right there blows that theory out of the water.  I hope people know that when I post my transformation pics and #ootd pics, it is not to show off.  It is so that I can inspire people to get healthy.  NOT SKINNY!  Because I could truly care less about being skinny.  I want a fit body
and healthy mind.  I want to feel strong, inside and out.  I know that Di sees me and wants to get there too, because she has told me.  I am here for her 1000000%!  BUT...she has to be ready, just like I had to be ready, to commit to the lifestyle change.  She is so funny when she sees me, her nickname for me is "slim".  I just love her.  When my article came out in FITNESS Magazie, she was SO proud of me.  She took the magazine to work so she could show all of her co-workers.  And...when we went out for Mexican to celebrate, she showed our waiter and the lady at the counter where you pay.  It feels so good to have people in your life that are genuinely happy for you and your success.  No matter how big or small that success may be. She even asked me to autograph the magazine...LOL

In high school, we were bigger than most, but we made the best of it.  I just wish so much I would have NEVER EVER let my weight issues be such a huge part of my life.  It really pisses me off.  My focus back then was ALL wrong.  I should have focused on all that I had, not what I didn't have.  I mean I had the world at my fingertips and I chose to let ONE thing, get me down and set me back.  ONE stupid thing, the # on the scale.  Being "skinny" is not what makes a person happy.  Being "healthy" inside and out, makes you happy.  And that doesn't mean you have to be a size 6.
Happy people come in ALL shapes and sizes!! When you look at the pics of me and Di, do you see an unhappy person????  I see someone that is always smiling from the inside out. I love this woman so so much and thank God, she is in my life.  No matter what has been thrown her way, she never lets it break her spirit....
I leave you with this, no matter how far you have come, or how far you have to go, on your journey, don't ever let it get you down.  When you see someone that you wish you looked like, because they are a skinny, size 2.  STOP!!!!  Focus on wanting to be the BEST you, not something that for most people, is unattainable. And the BEST you, might be a size 22... 

Friday, April 19, 2013


Good morning and HAPPY FREAKING FRIDAY!  This has been such a LOOOOOONG week!  I think it is because this is my first full week of work, in about a month!  That and it has rained and rained and rained, all week.  I NEED SUN!  Without sun, I am crabby.  And boy was I a crab ass yesterday.  Take no sun and throw in some pms and sinus issues.  Aren't you glad you don't live with me.  I am much better today.  I feel great actually! :o)  Gee I think that is because the weekend is knocking at my door!  YAHOOOOOOOOOO!!

Ok here we go...

1. What do you and your husband do for a living?  I am a hooker and my hubby is  pimp. 

I KID I KID!!!  I am a receptionist at a law firm.  I have been here for ten years.  It started out as just something to do when I moved back home and here we are!  Ray is a mortgage underwriter.  He has been in the mortgage industry for years.  What he does now is review other people's work.  And those people are trying to keep people,  from losing there homes.  I am super proud of him.  He is such a hard working man and always works OT when offered, so he can provide "fun" money for the family. :)

2. How do you and your hubby get along?  We get along great!  NOW...that I have my weight issues in check.  If you read my guest post here, you know what I am referring to.  I am definitely the outgoing one and Ray is much more reserved.  I can talk to a wall and have a good time. We have way different musical tastes and have no real same tv interests.  So what do we have in common, we love each other and our babies and just love to have fun.  We like to stay home and just enjoy the little things.  A date night for us is just dinner out with friends.  We try and get home in time to put the kids to bed.  Boring to some, living to us.

3.  How many bottles of wine do you drink a week?  HAHAHA!!!  Gee I must post too many wine pics!  In all honesty, less than one bottle.  If I have a glass of wine at night, it is only 4 ounces.  The only time I drink more than that, is when I am out with the hubby, or a GNO.  My fav right now is Savignon Blanc.  Favorite red is Norton or Malbec or Cabernet.

Yes, that is me after drinking a wee bit too much wine.  And yeah, that is a cop car, I am acting all sexy on!  Geesh Lori, you hussy!!!

This pic is from half price wine night at the local hibachi restaurant.  CLASSY, LORI, REAL CLASSY!

4.  Have you ever had any form of plastic surgery?  I get this A LOT!  I think most people think I have had skin removal surgery or some form of lipo.  The answer is NO, not a lick!  What you see is all from working out.  I am not in any way, opposed to it though.  If I had the money, I would get a boob lift tomorrow!!  In the past few month, I have lost a lot in my tatas.  They are actually the perfect size for me.  BUT...if you go in and take the loose skin away, I would be left with nothing. :9 So what would most likely have to happen is this, I get the loose skin removed and the boobs lifted and end up with an implant.  Just not sure I want that.  If it all does happen, you will be some of the first to know!
Now this is me pushing them up and out like porn star boobs!!  Just not me... I prefer my sag over that look. 

And this little pic is of me after I just shot gunned a beer! Dang my arms were a lot bigger here.  And I am happy to report that these white capris are way too big on me now! :)

I shouldn't be allowed out in public sometimes... ;)

5.  How did you lose the last ten pounds?  Myfitnesspal is the major key, to making that happen.  That and changing up my workouts.  Kickboxing along with JM dvd's did it for me! It gave me definition, leaned me out, and most importantly, gave me the motivation to keep going. 

The top left is from 2.5 years ago, right is yesterday.  Bottom left is last June, right is yesterday.  All thanks to my kickboxing and JM! 

6.  What was my ah-ha moment, for finally being ready to get the weigh off?  It was just being so freaking tired of being tired and miserable.  My husband at the time was so mean to me, all the time and I was done.  I got my ass up and went for a walk.  I never looked back.  It was a total lifestyle change for me.  I started to eat right and walked every day.  Walking is how I lost the bulk of my weight.
 This is after I hit my first weight loss goal.  I am wearing Guess shorts.  I always dreamed of being able to fit into Guess clothes!

7. You have been married 3 times, do tell?  OK here we go!  So I married #1 when I was 18.  Yes, 18.  This is the one that abused me physically and mentally.  He was and is, pure evil.  I am not kidding when I say this.  My dad once said, "I can't even call him an asshole, because at least an asshole has a function".  YIKES!  And boy was he right.  He took off one day and left me.  I heard from him maybe a year later when I was served with divorce papers at my parents house.  Man what a f*cking loser! I honestly married him because I thought he was the only guy that would ever marry an overweight girl like me.   #2. was the first guy to show me attention after I lost about 75 pounds.  He was so attentive and wined and dined me.  He is the reason I moved to NYC.  We dated for about 5 years before I gave him this ultimatum...shit or get off the pot.  SO...he proposed, we got married and it went downhill from there. He just isn't the marrying type.  Plus he worked on Wall Street and our schedules were totally opposite of each others.  I worked 9-5, he got home at 9, slept till 5.  So we were doomed.  I have nothing bad to say about him.  We ended on fairly good terms.  I wish him nothing but happiness.  # 3 Ray...the true man I was meant to be with.  The man that never gave up on me.  I knew Ray from back in the 90's.  I met him through mutual friends and had SUCH a crush on him.  LIKE BAD!!!!!!!  So one night we are all out at a bar and we kiss.  I was on cloud nine!  Only to never hear from the f*cker again!  Until I was home years later...  We were both at a friends house and had not seen me since I lost another 40 pounds.  He told me I looked like a super model.  Eek!!!  The man I always wanted to like me, did!  So when I was back home officially, we started to date and the rest is history!  He proposed 7/30/04 and we found out we were pregnant 8/6/04.  Yeah one week to the day! 
 My high school graduation.  6 moths before I married #1.

 This beaut is from wedding #1  YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!

8.  How do I resist the urge to purge?  I think I am able to keep that all in control because I allow myself everything in moderation. I never deprive myself of what I want.  I also give myself one "fat" day a week. This is usually Friday.   I am good for breakfast and lunch and then I stop counting calories.  So at night, I eat what I want.  I just can't ever let myself get back to that dark place when I was bulimic.  I have 2 babies that look up to me.  I never want my daughter to go through what I did.  She never hears me call myself fat.  Those days are long gone...

9.  What do my daily meals look like?  OK here we go.  Breakfast: bagel thin with pB2 or cookie butter from Trader Joe's, and some old fashioned oats and grilled ham.  Lunch: big ass salad loaded with veggies and light dressing, grilled chicken with string beans and sweet potato.  Dinner: a lean protein with a roasted veggie and some form of carb.  Usually whole grain rice.  Snacks: wine...duh :) I also love frozen Greek yogurt, regular plain Fage yogurt with flax seed and fresh fruit, smoothies with Greek yogurt.  Banana oatmeal cookies, Edy's light ice cream, microwave popcorn, raw almonds or fresh fruit, to name a few.  I keep my calories at about 1430.   This is what I net, after working out and such.  I need to start upping them since I am pretty much where I want to be weight wise.  I am ready to get into "maintain" mode.

10.  I will end with my own question, what is your next goal?  I am going to do the bikini boot camp challenge from Fitness Magazine.  You can find it here.  It starts May 1st.  We have another trip to Florida planned for 12 weeks from today.  So I want to be in even better shape.  I am not looking to go down anymore sizes.  That shit gets expensive!  I have already had to buy enough new clothes.  :)  Yes, I know there are worse problems I could have!  I just want to get as toned as I can, by summer.  I will keep you all posted, on how that goes!

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

If I knew then...what I know now. OH LORD! :)

Happy Hump Day!!  Well today I am going to touch on hindsight is 20/20.  Good GOD, is it EVER!!!  SO...here are a few things, I would have done differently!

If I would have known that starting to color my hair in sixth grade...with Sun-In and over the counter shit, would break my hair off, I WOULD HAVE WAITED! Nothing like having orange hair that is supa dupa crisp! AS IF!

If I knew that when I was doing the obstacle course in sixth grade, I would get caught up in the netting and be made fun of, by kid's PARENTS, I would have skipped the whole damn thing and took the F! A-HOLES!

Had I known that I could actually run a mile in 9 minutes, I sure as hell wouldn't have walked the ENTIRE thing during the stoooopid President's Physical Fitness Test, in grade school and high school. 

And let's not forget that time in high school when I went to karate kick this guy I liked (because I thought that would make him like me?????) and I didn't realize I had started my period!!  Oh yes, Aunt Flo was in FULL effect!  Not only would I not have karate kicked his ass, I NEVER would have liked him.  OMG he turned out to be the BIGGEST tool!

Now if I would have known that kissing some "too cool for school" dude named Ray, in a bar parking lot, 18 years ago, would eventually turn into me marrying the man of my dreams....I never would have married husband #1 and #2! Oh yes, I am on my third marriage.  BUT....IT. IS. MY. LAST.

Had I known that my bitch of a boss wouldn't have cared if I asked her BFF Jamie Gertz (yes the super awesome actress! and yes, this dates my ass) for her autograph, By God I would have!  And I just might have asked her to be my pen pal. :)  Oh and this was when I was a nanny and my boss was worse than a bitch...just sayin.

If I had known that when my first nanny boss said, "the job will require light housekeeping" that I would end up being ALICE, from the Brady Bunch, I would have passed on the $11k a year job where the house had no AC! 

Had I known that when some dork in NYC asked me if I was Lebanese, he really meant was I a lesbian, I would have said, "yep, and I am really a man"! You know just for shock factor. :) Instead.... the dumb ass that I am, said, in my sweet Midwestern voice, "no I am Scottish Irish".  Umm...they both laughed at me at waved their hands at me in this whole, "God, you are so stupid, blondie"!

Had I know that sometimes... when you THINK you are going to pass gas, that you just might let something else out, like say a "shart" I would not have done this with no undies on and loose pj pants.  Yep, I just went there!! TMI-GROSS LORI!

Had I known that I could "Pump" and load the dishwasher at the same time, I wouldn't have been so apprehensive about breastfeeding.  I also learned I could actually go potty with a child attached to my teet!

If I knew now that tossing a frozen pork chop at my hubby, when I was mad at him, would be the one thing that changed our marriage for the better....I would have thrown a whole pig at him, 2 years prior!

Had I known that starting an IG account would lead to this blog and over 2000 amazing followers, I now call friends, I would have started it sooner! :)

To sum it up, I wouldn't want to change a thing about my life, really.  BUT....I would "tweek" it a bit! 



Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Never lose hope....

This will be short and to the point.  Yesterday was yet another awful day for the world as we know it.  It brought me back to 9/11/01....the day MY life, changed forever.  The day I stood on the corner of 5th Avenue, in NYC and saw a plane hit one of the things I loved best, about my life in NY.  A place the held such fond memories for me.  The things I saw that day are forever burned in my brain.  No matter how hard I try, I just can't shake them.  But what tragedy has taught me is this. Hate won't make it better, love will.  What got me through that awful time is love and hope.  I saw so many hero's in the following weeks.  I saw enemies, become allies.  I saw such fear in everyone's eyes, but I saw that fear eventually turn to hope.  I cannot live my life in fear, just can't do it.  If I did, I doubt I would ever leave the house.  I can't focus on what "could" happen, when I kiss my babies good-bye every morning.  I have to trust in God, that they will be safe.  There are just things that we cannot control.  At the end of the day, I hope we all can come together and be more positive about every aspect of our lives.  I hope this will show us that, it can ALWAYS be worse.  So when that pair of pants feels a bit tight, it's ok, they will loosen up.  When you go for that run and you just aren't feeling it, it's ok, tomorrow is a new day.  When you aren't sure you will make it to work on time, it's ok, just focus on the fact that you do have a job, when many people wish they did.  When you are sitting there thinking, "someday we will have enough money to go on vacation", don't wait, tomorrow may not come.  My mom always told me, if you wait until you have "enough" money, you will never do it.  Don't wait until some "special" occasion, to drink that good bottle of wine, DRINK IT NOW!  If you haven't talked to someone that you love in a while, call them up.  It just might make their day.  I think you see my point, please keep on living.  And live life to the fullest.  Do NOT let this horrible tragedy make you stop living.  When you do that, the horrible person responsible for it, wins.

I am not trying to preach, I promise.  But I have been there. I know how much an awful tragedy changed my life.  And it changed it for the good. 

In closing, I love each and everyone of you and you are always in my thoughts and prayers.  Just because we have never officially met, does not change the fact that you all mean the world to me. 



Monday, April 15, 2013

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Other benefits to losing weight and eating clean...

This weekend I was going through old pics, pics of when I was about 15-20 pounds heavier.  Besides noticing that my arms are HUGE and not in a good way, I noticed my skin and how tired I looked, in all the pics.  I look older too.  NOT GOOD!  It reminded me of the time I was asked if the pics on my desk, were of my grandchildren.  WTF?!?!??!  I about died, the day that happened.  It was our normal mailman at work, that asked it.  It was about 4 years ago, so that would have made me 37.  I was mortified.  I never spoke to him again, after that.  I was just too embarrassed. Here is a pic from about that time:
I guess I can see why he thought that.  I look old and tired...
It's also kind of funny that I chose to post about this.  I got a fb msg just last night, from an amazing IG and FB buddy, asking what my skin regime was.  She was so sweet and told me I looked great.  The timing of that was just so dead on!  And you know, it felt great to have someone compliment me on my skin.  That never ever used to happen.  I have never had good skin.  So thank you sweet friend!! ;)
In recent pics, I have noticed my skin kind of glows.  I swear this is coming from eating clean.  It's like a natural moisturizer.  I also don't look so run down.  The funny thing about that, I am sleeping less!  I just don't need as much sleep anymore.  I have also noticed a change in my hair.  It shines more and isn't as brittle.  I don't wear any foundation on my skin, just moisturizer and I use my lipstick for blush.  I am cheap when it comes to make up.  I also use good ole 99 cent Vaseline on my face as a little highlighter on the cheekbones.  So you see, you can get a decent look going on your face, for little to no money!  I don't get facials and I exfoliate with a generic, I found at  Target.  The best thing I have done for my skin is eat cleaner.  I am certainly not eating 100% clean.  Just not ready for that. I need to be bad and indulge.  Just who I am.  But if I can get results, so can you!

 This is me and my big sis at a party 2 summer's ago.  I was at least 15 pound heavier.  The arms say it all...

 This is 3 summers ago.  I just look tired and a bit hard.  The lines on my forehead are much more noticeable...

This pic is summer of 2011, again, I look tired and I was on VACATION!!

I look so old here. :( This was 3 years ago...

This is from my photo shoot for our local paper.  They did a 10 year anniversary of 9/11 article about me. 
This one just makes me cringe.  UGH!!  And I thought I was looking good.  NOT!! I am happy to tell you, that back fat is gone. Thank you kickboxing!!


Now this one is just gross.  I had awful skin here.  JUST icky!!!  Deep set lines and all!  Oh and my arms which you cant really see, were huge.  No definition and I had big ole grooves in my shoulders, from my bra.
This pic of me and Liv (from last night) is a true #nofilter.  I am going on less sleep than normal, but still have a little glow going on. As you can see,  All I have on in this pic is mascara.  I apparently sweat my brows off, doing yard work..lol  See....I am a natural blonde, damn it!  I  have to color them in daily.  And then, I sweat and BOOM, gone!!  NO way would I have showed a pic like this even 6 months ago! So ladies, if you want to glow a little more, I swear, eating clean will get you there!
This pic is from about 3 weeks ago.  It is also a #nofilter.  Just a pic of me, before I IG'd it and did a little enhancing.  And when I say enhancing, I just try and make the color sharper.  I don't want to be false advertising to you guys.  But as you can see, I still have the forehead lines, but my face is "smoother".  And I don't look so tired and run down.  It HAS to be from the cleaner eating, I am doing.  Because when you lose weight, usually the face skin sags. 
My goal is to turn back the clock as much as I can.  I never eve thought I would look better at 41, than I did at say 35!  Give clean eating a try, just baby steps at first, I guarantee, you will like the results!  It helps lean you out, makes your skin glow, your hair shine and makes you feel energized! 
Hope you all had a great weekend!  I am starting another round of 30-day shred today!!  I am joining this amazing chic Mel  in her challenge!  Go check it out and join in!  Bikini season is just around the corner!!

Friday, April 12, 2013

Being at the right place at the right time...

Happy Friday, peeps!!  I am in the office till noon today, Liv is still sick.  I tell you what this flu sucks ass!!  Just when you think you are out of the woods, BOOM, the fever is back and higher than ever!!  So much for the $75 Tamiflu!  Oh well, you do what you have to, to get your babies healthy.  As I sit here and type, the mommy guilt takes over.  Seeing her look at me this morning, with those big, brown eyes, broke my heart! She wanted her mama.  BUT...daddy needs to be there for her too.  And thankfully, he was able to take the morning off.  He works in the mortgage industry and they have been SWAMPED and on mandatory OT.  I won't lie, the OT does pay for all my clothes and our vacations. :)  My hubby is one hell of a hard worker.  He goes out of is way to make sure we have all we need and some.  Thank GOD, we fought hard to make our marriage work.  I am one blessed wife and mommy!

Ok I so went off track there. :)

On Monday, Liv and I went to Old Navy.  Yes, I know, what the hell was I doing shopping, after all that I did on vacation.  Well I had a $30 off of $75 and a $20 rewards coupon, so I HAD to go!  As we began to check out, the guy helping us said, "I remember you two when you came in right before your vacation."  GUILTY, yes we were just there not too long ago!  But...we needed last minute stuff.  I swear I am not a shopaholic.  Well....maybe???? :)  I told him, "yes, we just got back and decided to do more."  I told him that Liv and I love to shop together for good deals.  At this moment, he said, "I love to shop, just not right now".  I assumed he meant because he was working in retail.  I was wrong.  He told me that he had recently gained 30 pounds and just wasn't happy with himself.  At this very moment, I just loved this guy!  The look on his face was one I had seen on my very own, many times.  He looked so defeated.  I told him I knew exactly how he felt.  I let him know that I used to be 115 pounds heavier.  He then told me that he too, had lost 130 pounds!! How freaking awesome is that!  I told him how amazing I thought that was.  He said, "yeah but I gained back 30".  Boy did I know how that felt!!  He said he had hit a plateau.  Boy do I know how that sucks.  I told him that I had recently lost some weight and over the course of 2 years, I had dropped 25 pounds.  This got a little spark back in his eyes.  It was like he instantly knew, we were meant to meet.  We started to discuss our journey's and the similarities.  He was an identical twin and when he was heavy, his brother was thin.  Boy could I relate to this.  Not that I have a twin, but I do have 2 beautiful sisters that have always been thin.  We talked about how hard it is growing up overweight and how people think you should just be able to get over it.  Ummm...it's not that easy folks!  It is just one of those things, that unless you have been through it, you cannot relate.  He talked about how he was a size 44 waste at his biggest.  He had gotten down to a 33 and when he did, people accused him of being anorexic.  Why is it when we lose weight and get "thin" people want to accuse us of being unhealthy?????  This has happened to me at work, in the past few months and to one of my girlfriends, that recently lost some weight.  So we can't win when we are fat and when we get "skinny" we are sick.  Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I told this wonderful guy that today was going to be the start of his new journey.  I told him I believed in him and that he was going to get the weight off.  He got such a huge grin on his face and told me that gave him goose bumps.  He gabbed my hand to shake it and told me how nice it was to meet me.  I told Matt, I would be back to check in with him.  And I will!  I felt an instant connection.  Like he and I could be friends for life.  I gave him my blog address and told him about all of the amazing people on IG.  I let him know how inspiring and motivating you all are.  And it's true!  It's not like FB, where people are more into bragging than encouraging.  IG is all about the positive. As are all of your blogs.  It's a family to me.  I hope Matt is now one of the members....

I think that trip to Old Navy just made me believe even more in the whole. "everything happens for a reason".  I came across IG and all the amazing people for a reason, I started this blog and follow other blogs, for a reason.  AND...I went to Old Navy on Monday, for a reason...
To sum it up....don't forget that everyone has a story and a path they have been on.  Please look at people with an open mind.  I saw on IG where someone made a comment about people posting selfies where they say they have no make-up on when they really do. Here is what I think about that.  To the person posting the selfie, maybe they don't have on make-up.  Well the kind of make-up they are used to.  Maybe they are used to a full face of it and in the pic, they just have on mascara and some lip gloss.  I know to me, mascara and my eyebrows colored in, is no make-up to me...lol!  I don't feel like I am myself without lipstick.  Yep, I can be vain!! And when someone says, "ugh I feel so fat" and they are skinny.  Please don't assume they are doing that merely for attention.  That same person might have an eating disorder like bulimia, anorexia or body dysmorphic syndrome.  SO to them, they do look fat or feel fat.  I think as a society, we are ALL too quick to judge.  I know I work on this daily. I am trying so hard to remember, we all have things we are not happy with.  And please don't assume that when someone is posting a shit ton of selfies and #ootd pics, they are conceited.  I mean I post a lot of pics, but I do it to share with people, my cheap finds or in hopes that my sweaty post workout photo might inspire someone, to go workout.  And I am not going to lie, sometimes I actually look in the mirror and go, "hmmm....I look pretty good today". SO...why not post a pic.  It helps me remember, I DO have good days, when I feel good mentally and physically. 

Sorry that this post has been all over the place.  I hope to get back to my normal blogging routine next week.  I have so much blog reading to catch up on!  I have missed all of you!!!

Have a fantastic weekend!!

Lots of Love,

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

I'm Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!

Hey ya'll, I am back!  I must say, I missed reading everyone's blogs, while I was away.  BUT...it was vacation, and that is strict family time for me.  I did post on IG and FB, some pics, but that is it. I must say, I had the best vacation ever!  It was so relaxing and fun.  I got to spend some quality with my family, and that is what life is all about.  It was SO hard coming back...I even shed some tears.  But not nearly as many as the kids.  They miss their grandma and papa so much.  Not to mention their Aunt JuJu, Uncle John and cousins Jack & Caity.  Everyone got along so nicely!!  It put a lot of things in perspective for me.  Like...I think it is time to seriously start looking for jobs in Florida.  Life is too short and I need to be close to my parents. I want to enjoy every moment I can with them.  I have ALWAYS been a beach girl, so I don't think the transition from the Midwest to Florida, will be all that difficult! :)

SO...I pretty much stuck to my healthy eating habits and didn't gain any weight.  HOLLA!!  You know the first thing I did when I got home was try on my, "progress jeans".  They were a smidge looser than when I left.  That right there gave me major motivation!  I was good and did my JM workouts, twice. I also got in a MAJOR workout when we were at Disney.  Ummm...hello, I walked like a gazillion miles.  When I told Drew this, he said, "mom that is impossible".  Ok so I walked a million, whatever!! When we were at the parks, I ate fried shrimp for lunch and only half my fries.  For a snack, I had a rice crispie treat.  :)  That nigh for dinner I had a veggie pizza and a salad.  I also consumed 2 glasses of wine!  Oh and split a beer with my hubby.  NOT BAD AT ALL!  Every day at my parents, I made banana oatmeal pancakes for breakfast and ate pretty sensibly for lunch and dinner.  When we ate out, I stuck to my plan.  I got either grilled fish or crab legs and the appetizer, was my cheat thing.  At least until the last night.  For dinner I had a blackened grouper sandwich with hand cut fries and baked beans.  So not bad, except for the fries!  Oh well, I had to LIVE, didn't I?!?!?!  I will say this, when I did eat kind of crappy, I felt crappy. :(  So this whole eating clean thing works!  It keeps you in check and helps you feel good.  I never drank more than 2 glasses of wine a day.  I also never had more than one beer.  I am pretty pleased with myself.  I feel like I truly am on the right track. And...that it is one I will stay on for life!

If you follow me on IG, you saw all the shopping I did.  OMG!!!  You should have seen the trunk!  It was bad.  BUT...I got such awesome deals!  Even the hubby bought stuff...lol. :)  Major damage was done at Nike, Gap and of course my fav, J Crew Factory.  I found an AMAZING dress at Off Fifth that Liv told me I had to have.  I didn't get it, but I think I will have my mom go pick it up for me.  It was a strapless maxi that was green and white chevron. The back was open too.  It was to die for!  Never in a million years did I think I would like my back, in a dress.  I am finally getting comfortable in my own skin.  It only took me 41 years....

Before I go, I must share what happened to me and my new pants.  No, I did not pee them!  This is worse.  We left my parents at 4 am with a car load of Easter Candy.  Easter Candy that I thought was secured in sacks.  Ummm...not!!!!  I sat on a chocolate egg!! So when we stop to get gas and eat breakfast, I get out and see this brown shit all over my seat.  SO of course I ask Liv if it is on me as well.  She said, "Mom did you poop your pants"????  NO!!!!!!!!  OMG it was everywhere!  It looked like I had done crapped my drawers!  So I had to unload the car and get out the gigantic suitcase, to get some new pants.  The ones I got poopified were a bright corral pair.  SO I had to switch to my new mint ones.  I am happy to report that my pants did come clean!! :)

I am trying to post pics but the damn computer won't let me! WTF!?!?!?  I will keep trying.  If not, I will post some tomorrow.  I missed you all and hope you had a great Easter!!