How I got out of my slump



My weight had pretty much been the same for about 10 years and then I had kids.  I did really well with both pregnancies as far as staying active and keeping the weight gain down.  I only gained 19 pounds with each baby and exercised the whole time.  I won't lie, I was scared to death to be pregnant.  Not because I was carrying this precious gift, but because I might get fat again.  As I think about it now, that was so sad and selfish of me.  BUT....this is where my head was still at.  Makes me so sad to think about how "sick" I really was.  I have yet to touch on it, but I battled bulimia for a few years and it really effed with my head....

A pic of when I stopped really caring.....

After both kids were born, I did good.  I think with Drew I was about a size 8 and with Liv, I was also an 8.  I got all the weight off within a few weeks.  Of course I nursed and worked out, as soon as I could. I think I should rephrase,  I squeezed into a size eight!  I actually didn't know that I had put back on that much weight, until I looked at the reunion pic and checked my weight on my medical records. See, I don't let them tell me what I weigh, when I go to the doctor.  AND... I always make them take my blood pressure first, just incase they slip and tell me, and that shit shoots through the roof!  Oh yes, I sit there and fixate on that number and it shoots my blood pressure right up.  It drives my mother crazy!  I am pleased to say, I did let them tell me, last time I was at Prompt Care.  It was 159.  That was a year ago.  I think I am most likely at about 150.  I just want that damn thing to say 149 or less, and I will shut up! Maybe it is by now.  But I can't really keep a scale in the house.  I am at too good of a place, to slip back into bad habits.  I go by my clothes and that is it.  I have my anual in August, I will let them tell me then!
Ok on to the day, "I was like WTF has happened to me".  I got up in the middle of the night and I was scratching my back, as I was going pee.  Yes, TMI, I know! :)  As I am doing this, I feel what I think is a chicken cutlet, right by my underarm/back.  OMG it was a FAT ROLL!  A BIG ONE!  I was like, how the heck did this happen.  How did I get back here.  UGH....it was SO depressing.  I was working out, so how can this be.  I know how, now, I was eating too much AND I had gotten too "comfortable". Plus my workouts were the same old thing and my body had "stalled".  I was walking/running every day, but my body was too used to this.  I had been eating "healthy" for YEARS so I  thought I was doing great.  Well, I wasn't.  I decided to do p90x, which was great, but I did it without once again, watching what I ate.  The end result...I was leaner but I wasn't toned!  I was eating all the right foods, just too many of them...LOL  I decided it was time to start tracking my calories (I use myfitnesspal, my user name is drewliv518).  Boy was this an eye opener!  I got pretty strict and tracked everything I put in my mouth.  Hell I realized that I was using way too much coffee creamer!!  I was amazed at how much of that crap I DIDN'T need!!  I was also eating way too many snacks.  You know, those snacks you don't realize you are eating, when you are preparing dinner.  DAMN, I liked to shove all kinds of stuff in there!  I was eating cheese and wheat thins, some wine, a few chips here and there.  All that crap adds up to a freaking meal, before your actual meal.  I also stopped counting fat, carbs and all that stuff.   I knew I was making the right choices, as far as healthy foods, I was just eating too many.  Now I stick to 1440 calories a day (and strictly just calories) and burn about 250-500/ a day.  I am now a size 4/6.  I bought my first pair of size 4 pants at The Limited, this past December.  I can also fit into a size 27 in jeans.  I swear, I NEVER thought that day would come!!!  SO.....here is what a typical day of food, looks like for me:

When I wake up, I chug a HUGE glass of water and have 2 cups of coffee.  I make flavored coffee and use 2 Tablespoons of fat free half and half.  I also drink tons and tons of water, all day long.

Breakfast at my desk is, oatmeal with flaxseed and a bagel thin with PB2 and some ham.  SO far calories are at 300.

Lunch is always a salad I make myself and a piece of protein (usually always chicken) some string beans and a sweet potato.  This adds up to about 450.

Dinner is protein with a starch and veggie.  That adds up to about 450.

So this puts me at about 1200 so I will throw in a snack of Greek yogurt and fruit or some wine.  I also love sugar free jell-o.  Oh and let's not forget, I am an ice cream freak!!! It can be 50 below zero outside and I will eat it.  Only difference now, I measure out just 1/2 and put it in a cake cone.  I measure all my food now.  It keeps me on track!

My workouts right now consist of 30-day shred, ripped in 30 and kickboxing (Jill Coleman and Taebo) and tabata (Jill Coleman).  I do one at lunch, then one, when I get home.  All of this combined is what has gotten my body leaned out and toned.  I do not do any other ab work.  Kickboxing is so amazing for the abs.  Tabata  is so awesome because the workout I do is 19 minutes and you are a sweaty mess when you are done.  It also helps your body to continue to burn calories over the next 24-48 hours.  I do all of these workouts at home.  Either in the living room, or in Liv's bedroom.  She has an ancient tv and dvd player in there.  I refuse to make excuses, I make it work, however I can. 

I still HATE my legs, but they are improving.  I don't notice the loose skin as much.  But like my husband tells me, I can't control that.  He tells me to remember just how far I have come.  I guess thinner thighs with some loose skin, is better than really big thighs and no loose skin.  I also have stretch marks on my belly, that I got from gaining so much weight, so quickly, as a teen.  I was 212 pounds in 8th grade...YIKES!   These do no bother me as much.  I have worked too hard to get some ab definition, to not wear a bikini.  I mean I used to be the girl that worea t-shirt over her suit and NEVER took it off.  And.... I am 41, if you don't like what you see, turn the other way...right?!?!? :)